umeme imekatika| electricity is cut 🔌

people become what they want to become- liberian proverb

Jul 09, 2023

**Fun Fact: Growing up, I thought one of my aunts was Marcia sangin’ on this track. »»»Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t her 😆.

This morning, I woke up to a minor earthquake/tremor. Something about it felt soothing, familiar even- like I was in the Bay Area again. A beautiful reminder from mother earth 🌍 that we are interwoven. That care is innate should we decide to tap in. To see one another. To pick up that garbage on the side street you pass every morning you exit your front door. We have neglected our relationship to nature. Our relationship to ourselves. While some may experience this as a disruption, I embrace it as an opportunity to live more alive and ride the current ⚡️.

On Wednesday, I was scheduled to facilitate the kickoff to a 3-part conversation series called, The Liminal Space. I was super nervous, angsty, but also open to however the conversation would take root.

TANESCO [Tanzania Electric Supply Company] had other ideas and decided it was time for a blackout. The old me would’ve been discouraged by this setback. The old me would’ve been so caught up in the flavor of being highly annoyed by the temporary inconvenience that she wouldn’t have been able to flow into a new dimension of possibilities. The Global North adage ‘time is money’ reminds me of how accustomed and reliant to ‘instant’ I have become. The idea that everything should align on our very linear, stringent, understanding of time, and the discomfort in adapting. The me of right now is grateFULL for the surprise of extra time and a chance to disconnect. It takes me back to standardized testing and the exhale of more time. The exhale of ease and being accepted for all of me: methodical, observant and unhurried. I thank those teachers who trusted my process and dignified the journey. Looking back, it affirmed the parts of me that were unsure and enhanced my confidence to not rush me. I am always on time.

There are moments when my Americanah1 impatience is the star of the show lakini time has revealed that everything is temporary. And that disruption is a lesson that shows up when we need it most.

I was recently reminded me of the privilege associated with being in Tanzania, and how that freedom may create dissonance in my interactions with local community members [friends, relatives, etc.]. While there is certainly a part of me that always knew this to be true, recognizing it as a barrier to being seen FULLy wasn’t top of mind. Choosing to be here when so many pray for the chance to leave is a hallucinogenic. But home is a groove 🎶. It’s illusive. And abiding. It is in a constant state of revelation, and I am in a sea 🌊 of deep listening.